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Joke of the Day

"Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind."

"How do you mute an Italian? Tie up their hands."

"I'd like to tell you guys a chemistry joke But based on my experience so far in this sub, I'm sure I won't get any reaction"

"3-year-old: There's a spider on the carpet! Me: Haha, that's just a piece of fuzz. *fuzz moves* Me: EVERYBODY OUT OF THE HOUSE!"

"What does bill Clinton say to Hilary after sex? Honey, I'll be home in twenty minutes"

"A little kid came up to me and said... ""I have two mommies."" ""Really?"", I said. ""Your parents are lesbians?"" ""No, my mom's just a schizophrenic."""

"Did you hear about the cow that doesn't give any milk? It's an udder disappointment."

"What do you call a place where they don't allow sleeveless shirts? A gun free zone"

"The best joke I ever heard from a Laffy Taffy wrapper Why do kangaroos hate rainy days? ... The kids have to play inside."

"I'm going to get a dime-sized spider tattooed on my penis. It's the only way I can get women to shout ""Oh my God it's huge!"" when they see my dick."