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Joke of the Day

"What do pennies and fat chicks have in common? Unless you're broke and desperate, they're not worth picking up."

"Dinosaurs are a lot like my will to live Both died many many years ago"

"my cat: *hacking up a hairball* my german neighbor: holy shit that cat is talking"

"A Woman Comes To The Physician - Herr doctor! My husband is very sick! - OK. Get undressed and show me what does he complain of..."

"Baltimore CVS Looters They really cleaned the place out. The only things they left behind are sunscreen and Father's Day cards."

"Cinderella was arrested for sexual assault... She was found sitting on Pinocchio's face screaming, ""Lie you bastard"""

"Dear Lord, Thank you for these noodles I'm about to eat and the good deal I got buying them in bulk at Costco. RA-MEN!"

"A woman sends her logician husband to the shops. ""Get me a loaf of bread,"" she said, ""and if they have eggs, get me a dozen."" The husband returns from the shop with twelve loaves of bread."

"Why do you never see any bugs in a church? Because they are in sects."

"The wall clock at work seems to be stuck on half past f*ck this sh*t o' clock."