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Joke of the Day

"A Woman Comes To The Physician - Herr doctor! My husband is very sick! - OK. Get undressed and show me what does he complain of..."

"I guess if your a meth head You've only got one sleep until Christmas"

"My friend said trepanning is a bad idea... ...but it's okay, he's just close-minded."

"FB lets you write your sex in now, so I have officially become a hat."

"2 muffins sitting in the oven. First one says ""Damn it's hot in here"". Second one says ""Oh shit! A talking muffin""."

"Complained to my wife about our sex life diminishing. Zero fucks were given."

"A liberal arts student walks into a bar. (Insert pronoun here) can't buy anything."

"A man walks into a bell tower and shoots 16 people... America responds by restricting access to bell towers."

"Expeditions to Mars Russian expedition: ""Well, there is Mars."" American expedition: ""Well, there are the life forms. Disgusting"" Chinese expedition: ""Not if you know how to cook them properly"""

"Most of being a parent means saying ""Great!!"" when your kid insists you watch him perform an unidentifiable skill."