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Joke of the Day

"I'm starting a new diet. It's called 2 Dollars a day until the end of the month."

"Africa The US sent a humanitarian shipment of medicine to Africa, but it is was returned after a few weeks, because the label said ""take after a meal"". Sorry."

"My dog can predict when an earthquake is going to happen. But television doorbell versus actual doorbell baffles him every time."

"Two sausages sitting in a frying pan... 1st sausage turns to the 2nd sausage and says, ""is it me? Or is it really hot in here? "" 2nd sausage says, ""HOLY SHIT! A talking sausage..."""

"I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis"

"At some point I really want to manage a Wal-mart in Texas. I want to be a Texas Chain Store Manager."

"Found $0.83 under my pillow. It appears that I still have all of my teeth so now I'm a little worried about what I was paid for."

"I suffer from paranoia and procrastination. Everyone is out to get me, just not right now"

"On a scale of 1 to 10 you'd be a 10... On a pH scale because then you'd be a basic bitch"

"Why did the cookie not laugh at your joke? Because it was crumby."