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Joke of the Day

"My dog can predict when an earthquake is going to happen. But television doorbell versus actual doorbell baffles him every time."

"Then god created Saturn, And he liked it. So he put a ring on it"

"A guy is having sex on a first date She's giving him a blow job. He tells her ""suck it harder"". So she does. Then, he yells, ""Blow, blow, the bed sheet is up my ass."""

"What food guide does a Chicagoan need in Japan? A Ramen Manual."

"I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why."

"My worst 3 subjects in school we're Math and English."

"What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit Hole? A Hot Cross Bunny"

"Yes, It's true eagles can soar... ...but at least weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

"If being successful was an amusement park, I'm the kid that drove his bumper car in the corner and can't get out."

"My lizards won't mate... Must be a reptile dysfunction."