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Joke of the Day

"At some point I really want to manage a Wal-mart in Texas. I want to be a Texas Chain Store Manager."

"The 2016 presidential race Nuff said."

"I'm proud to be part of a generation that was once mesmerized by Lite-Brites but now complains if we can't stream HD video on our phones."

"ME: I propose teaching pandas to play pattycake bec- ZOOKEEPER: How do you keep getting in here? ZOO OFFICIAL: Wait. Let's hear him out."

"My labrador and my collie do everything together. You could say that they're great at collaborating."

"A guy on the bus asked me if I had any Sodium Hypobromite... I said NaBrO."

"I've only been in jail for 5 minutes and I've already been raped twice. My uncle doesn't fuck around when playing Monopoly."

"Roses are red Violets are blue Meet me in bed To learn something new Pfff....poetry is easy"

"[On WebMD] I have a sore throat [Throat cancer] I wasn't done, and a stomach ache. [Cancer] Couldn't it be the flu? [If it wasn't cancer]"

"Jobs: You Need To Have Your BA *got BA Jobs: you need 5yrs experience *5years later Jobs: You need a MA *Got MA Jobs: we need some1 young"