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Joke of the Day

"What do Indian flowers grow? Patels (this may or may not have been inspired by a dumb facebook post I saw)"

"Me: Hello, is it me you're looking for? Her: no Me: *dials another number* Hello, is it me you're looking for?"

"While walking down the street one day a corrupt Senator... That may be redundant."

"A wizard named Ifa, who became leader of the Dothraki tribe People call him Wiz-Khal-Ifa"

"What did one friend say to another on a flight that made him get escorted off of it? (WARNING: PUNNY AS HELL) ""Hi Jack! These airplanes are da bomb!"" how did i do? thought of it a couple days ago."

"Small town gynecologists... I bet they spend a lot of time looking up old friends."

"[Couples Therapy] HER: He keeps pretending he's a doctor. This relationship is dead HIM: I'm calling it. Time of death, 9:26 ME: OMG SEE!"

"""I'm in international waters, your damn laws can't touch me"" I scream to the police as I dog paddle naked in my neighbors swimming pool."

"I often antagonize black people in hopes they call me a jive turkey."

"I'm a victim of child abuse Some kid in the park called me ugly"