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Joke of the Day

"My college bar had a ""Blow your GPA"" drink special night until all the Asian students died..."

"What does a pirate's beard feel like? Corsair. (works better in a pirate accent)"

"What time do Lumberjacks take their tea-break? TREE O'clock!"

"Why did the police arrest the energizer bunny? He was wanted for several charges of battery"

"PSA: IF YOU RECEIVE AN EMAIL SAYING, ""You've won two free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert!"" DO NOT OPEN IT. It contains two tickets to a Justin Bieber concert."

"I grounded my kid from electronics for a week and now he won't stop talking to me and I think I've made a horrible mistake."

"Coworker: If you had to do it all over again, would you? Me: Yeah. Cw: You would? Why? Me: Because I know what the words ""had to"" means."

"Kid, ""Mom, Dad, I'm in love with a gopher from a funny animal video."" Parent, ""The Bible says Adam and Eve, not Allen! Allen! Allen! Steve!"""

"Life is a joke.. and death is the punch line."

"STUDENT: what's it like being drunk? TEACHER: see those 6 desks? A drunk person would see 12. STUDENT: there are only 3 desks."