11218

Joke of the Day

"Daughter just told me my hair looks good. The request for a ride will be coming in less than 10 minutes."

"*NSFW-ish* Two nuns Two nun's are crossing the road when a vampire jumps out. Nun 1 turns to Nun 2 and says ""Quick, show him your cross"" Nun 2 turns to the Vampire and says ""Oi, Fuck off!"""

"I tried baby proofing my home.. But they keep getting in"

"Don't invest in skiing companies The whole sport is going down hill fast"

"Why don't blind people skydive? Cuz the guide dogs are scared as fuck."

"I've got a conspiracy joke that no one would believe, even though the punchline is in plain sight."

"For Christmas this year, I decided to go all out and ask Santa for something black and shiny and will go 0 to 300 in 2 seconds. I got a scale."

"Did you hear about the woman who died at an orgy last night? She went down swinging."

"What type of weed does a reptile smoke? Mariiguana"

"Hello. It's me. I was wondering if after all this time you still had all the money you owe me."