230669

Joke of the Day

"What type of weed does a reptile smoke? Mariiguana"

"Hey girl are you from Tennessee? Because you look like your parents are related."

"I was so bored last night I decided to make a belt out of all my watches It was a complete waist of time"

"Not to brag, but I still fit into the low self-esteem I wore in high school."

"[First Date] Me: I can't believe we're on a date! It's not cause my fathers rich is it? Him: No. He's very handsome too Me: CHECK PLEASE"

"Two prime numbers stayed married for life. They couldn't be divided"

"""Monday's suck"" - Everyone. Apart from Ethiopian kids. For whom, every day sucks"

"On Christmas morning I want to eat Eggs Benedict out of a hubcap. Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."

"How do you separate the men from the boys in Greece? With a crowbar."

"A man went to a meeting for premature ejaculators but when he arrived there was no one there, he'd come too early."