174724
Joke of the Day
"I won the local hot dog eating contest and didn't even know I was competing."
Next Joke
"A man goes to his doctor and says; Doc I think I'm addicted to twitter. Doc: Sorry, I don't follow you"
"A lot of people look at Russian roulette as a negative game, but statistically it's actually one of the only games you can't lose twice"
"Being a feminist is like practicing extreme sports Not taking good care of yourself and then bragging about how brave you are."
"[Dads birthday] ""Make a wish Dad"" *Dad blows out candles *Looks around *Looks @ wife Where did our son go? -What son? *Dad cries with joy"
"I wish vaginas were like MacBooks. Macs don't get viruses."
"I heard someone proposed a Tupac movie. But it was shot down."
"I really wanted to watch Jurassic World this weekend but... Life...uh...got in the way."
"I witnessed a murder in the park last night and called 911 They told me to stop calling and leave the crows alone."
"My gf texted me ""myspacebuttonisbrokenonmyphonecanyoupleasegivemeanalternative"" Do any of you know what ""ternative"" means?"