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Joke of the Day

"A man went to see his doctor ""You need to stop masturbating"" said the doctor. ""Why?"" asked the man. The doctor replied ""Because I'm trying to examine you!"""

"How does a blacksmith know you farted? He smelt it"

"""The floor is lava"" -Everyone, Pompeii, 79 A.D."

"What do you call a baby born in a whorehouse? A brothel sprout"

"I Like my slaves like I like my coffee: Free"

"What kind of bees produce milk? Boo'bees"

"""Here's Ted with the weather."" ""..."" ""I said... Here's Ted with the weather."" ""..."" ""Ted?"" ""THAT's what an unanswered text feels like, Sue."""

"So... a dyslexic man walks into a bra."

"If I'm guilty of anything, it's loving TOO much. And several felonies in 3 different states. But mostly loving too much."

"What happens when you steal englishmens tea Elizabet II merges together with James Bond and Mr. Bean and creates an apocalypse machine."