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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two-one to do it and one to steady the chandelier. A: None they only screw the poor"

"""Ok, identify the noun in this sentence. Timmy is stupid."" Timmy: stupid? ""Exactly"""

"""my son, can I ask why you're carrying two HUGE crucifixes?"" Well father, I've been... Double-crossed *God starts breakdancing*"

"Isaac Newton's theory. Isaac Newton was outside trying to explains the forces of the world and then it hit him."

"""Do you want to be the numerator or the denominator tonight...? You're so radical!"" How I hit on my imaginary mathematician girlfriend"

"Well well well, if it isn't the guy who sprayed air freshener into my restroom stall..."

"What did the impatient cow say at the stampede? MOOOOOOVE !"

"Apparently I'm ""an insensitive arsehole"" for referring to my girlfriend's allergic reaction to a box of chocolates (and subsequent fit) as a ""truffle shuffle""..."

"Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. Boy: What are the two things? Girl: Your feet."

"What do you call a redneck with two sheep? A Pimp"