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Joke of the Day

"""Ok, identify the noun in this sentence. Timmy is stupid."" Timmy: stupid? ""Exactly"""

"I'm in a Josef Fritzl tribute band... You probably haven't heard of us, we're pretty underground."

"John 10:26 Holy shit I gotta get up for work!"

"I have this weird fungal infection on my leg. I need to get rid of it, but it's kind of growing on me. (Sorry if repost, came up with it in science class today.)"

"An alien, a predator and a terminator walk into a bar... and then... I've got nothing. Someone finish the joke!"

"I hate waiting in line. I wish this guy would hurry up and pick a suspect."

"I'm a Poet... and I didn't even realise until just then."

"Someone sent me some wood, nails, a saw and a hammer in the post I don't know what to make of it"

"Me: ""All my friends are getting married."" Grandma: ""Yeah? All my friends are dying."""

"What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? Doug"