99715

Joke of the Day

"""Ok, identify the noun in this sentence. Timmy is stupid."" Timmy: stupid? ""Exactly"""

"How is medusa like weed? She makes people stoned."

"Which part of your body shuts down last when you die? The eyes, cause they di-late."

"Q: Why are the citizens of Damascus so solemn when talking about oil? A: Because it's Syria's business. (cross-post from /r/funny by request)"

"Stevie Wonder's housekeepers probably don't do a damn thing all day long."

"I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.. But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"Did something bad happen to you or are you just naturally ugly."

"Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Joseph Stalin? A: Some of Stalin's subjects admired him."

"Why does the letter A look like a flower? Because Bs like flowers."

"""Do not purchase if seal is broke"" *looks over at homeless seal* *places canned pickles back on the shelf*"