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Joke of the Day

"Why are people giving something up for lint? I'm sweeping that shit up every day if you want some more."

"At thirteen years old, my parents were divorced. A bit young to get married if you ask me."

"Did you hear the one about the Viking who was reincarnated? He was Bjorn again."

"I like my coffee like I like the slaves Free Edit: people down voting freed slaves?"

"Did you hear what happened to Lithium? He was arrested for battery charges. Some say he's bi-polar."

"My life sucks I've got a less-than-minimum-wage job, my best friend has no brain, my neighbor is an asshole, my boss is a stingy bitch, and the worst part... #I live in a pineapple under the sea."

"My kid keeps getting his pants leg wrapped in the chain of his bike, it's a vicious cycle."

"Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we need to talk."

"If booze isn't the answer, then your question sucks."

"What do you get if you cross a skunk and a wasp? Something that stinks and stings!"