111787
Joke of the Day
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. -Henny Youngman"
Next Joke
"What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. "
"So my girlfriend just told me that she needed velocity... Well, her exact words were ""time and distance"" but I knew what she meant."
"For christmas i bought my girlfriend a pair of shoes and a dildo. That way if she doesnt like the shoes she can go fuck herself."
"*brings a laser pointer to the Broadway showing of Cats and creates utter mayhem*"
"[at the pearly gates] I said, ""send me a selfie."" Then she said, ""too ugly today."" So I said, ""never stopped you before"" ...& here I am."
"Freudian analysts How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb?? Sex"
"I went to the doctor this morning and I have mono. At my age I think I should have surround sound."
"One thing I learned about sex. Before you do it, always, always, always make sure to.. ask. edit: not my joke. i forgot who i heard it from. english comedian."
"What did the floor say to the desk? I can see your drawers!"