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Joke of the Day

"So my girlfriend just told me that she needed velocity... Well, her exact words were ""time and distance"" but I knew what she meant."

Next Joke
 
"A sandwich walks into a bar The barman says, ""Sorry, we don't serve food here."""
"There are now 3 undefeated cat teams in the NFL! The Panthers, the Bengals and the Cheetahs."
"Fired from my job as an autopsy technician for repeatedly asking ""are you gonna eat that?"" during the procedures."
"Why is sex like snow? Because you never know how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.."
"Yep, we're the minority around here when we have the only Wi-Fi network name written in English in the entire neighborhood."
"What is a witch's favourite TV show? Lifestyles of the Witch and Famous!"
"Friends don't force friends to watch 'funny' YouTube videos."
"wife: how is it outside? me: windy. almost blew one kids hat off and some guy's trying to figure out how to get his smart car out of a tree"
"Misleading title Bad punchline"