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Joke of the Day

"Why did Ahmed take his clock to school? He wanted to see time fly"

"What do you call a discounted Zuckerberg? Marked down!"

"Why was the bullet train behind schedule? Because it had a bad conductor."

"Dude it's 2014 if your kids aren't sending nudes left and right and cross platform then you gotta worry about their technological literacy."

"What is a group of gay pirates favorite pastime? Pegging each other's booty"

"Never tell a joke to plutonium, there reaction is explosive"

"How does Michael J. Fox deal with his Parkinson's disease? He just shakes it off."

"Like something you'd find on laffy taffy On a scale of 1-10 how high was Carl? 420"

"My ex bf called me today. I answered by screaming ""HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!?!"" and hung up. Should make him wonder a lil bit."

"Bigfoot is like a father to me... ... I've only ever seen him in photos, never in real life."