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Joke of the Day

"sorry I broke up with you in the middle of a corn maze"

"What's the difference between a circus and a whore house? My dad didn't meet my mom at a circus or take me their when I turned 5"

"What does Charlie Sheen call his penis? The HIV shiv."

"i don't know how to flirt so i am just going to stare at you until you marry me"

"Beethoven walks into a bar... The bartender tells him, ""we don't serve any E-minors here."" Beethoven says ""what?"""

"If there isn't a Chinese millionaire that's changed their name to Cha Ching, then I don't see the point of money."

"Two Eskimos, sitting in a kayak, were very chilly. To keep warm, they lit a fire in the craft, but it sank. They should have known. You can't have your kayak and heat it too."

"Why are rabbits never gold? How would you tell them apart from goldfish?"

"Those of you wondering what its like to be married: Just found out this morning I'm on day 3 of an argument I didn't know I was having..."

"I like my girlfriends the same way I like my Windows 8"