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Joke of the Day

"i don't know how to flirt so i am just going to stare at you until you marry me"

Next Joke
 
"Surround yourself with people who will groom your eyebrows should you ever become comatose"
"Must thank Matthew Broderick for overcoming my fear of sex after pregnancy. He reminded me that sometimes you just have to get back on the horse."
"A sunrise is probably the most beautiful way to find out you just made a series of bad decisions."
"Why You Need Insurance by Justin Case"
"What's the difference between a chick with a dick and a guy with tits? Empty testicals."
"Which Sri Lankan do Star Wars fans like? May Theforcebewithyou."
"My Wife caught me blow drying my shaft And Asked me what was i doing. Apparently heating your dinner was not the right answer"
"Me: Ready for school? 7yo: [in only underwear with pants tied around his neck like a scarf & a sock on each hand] Almost"
"Why you shouldn't masturbate Dad: Son, you shouldn't masturbate otherwise you'll go blind. Son: Dad, I'm over here..."