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Joke of the Day

"Mmmmmm---let me kiss 'em !! Q. Do ya know when a strip poker game is starting to get good?? A. When somebody's got a big pair showin !!!"

"Should I buy a new pair of sunglasses or just leave $60 in a restaurant?"

"My girlfriend started smoking... My girlfriend started smoking last night, so I slowed down and applied lubricant."

"I'm no different than the average working guy. I have two arms, two legs and 4.2 billion dollars. ~ Donald Trump"

"[DEATH ROW] WARDEN: Last meal? CON: Just a glass of lemonade please *Drinks lemonade/Burps* WARDEN: Pardon [CON WALKS FREE]"

"When I say ditto after someone tells me they love me, it doesn't mean I love them. It means I love me too."

"I saw a bumper sticker today..... I saw a bumper sticker today that said, ""My child has more chromosomes than yours (:"" .....what a retarded sense of humor"

"I'd love to hear an actor honestly answer the ""How did you prepare for today?"" red carpet question with ""Cocaine and sit ups."" #GoldenGlobes"

"Does anybody have any really old jokes that are actually funny? I'm talking antiques, 100 years +."

"Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Tequila."