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Joke of the Day

"I saw a bumper sticker today..... I saw a bumper sticker today that said, ""My child has more chromosomes than yours (:"" .....what a retarded sense of humor"

"When you're at someone's house? Normal people: ""What a lovely house!"" Me: ""What's your wifi password?"""

"Took my first cab ride last night And I gotta say, the price was fare!"

"Why did the USSR agree to a nonaggression pact with Nazi Germany? They were Stalin."

"What do you call a white man flying a plane? Clive, usually."

"When I said I got a little action last night, I was referring to bed bugs."

"People who are mad that we don't have hoverboards yet are VERY forgiving of the fact that we still have, like, racism."

"Her: Are you okay? Me: Yea, Great! This isn't even my blood!"

"""I wasn't that drunk!"" ""Dude, you congratulated a potato for getting a part in Toy Story."""

"Babies are just like turtles, keep them in water and also feed them turtle food."