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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend started smoking... My girlfriend started smoking last night, so I slowed down and applied lubricant."

"What i if told you... You the read first line wrong... And the second... Yeah Downvote me because feel you stupid."

"Mummy joke Did you know mummies fart alike? I guess you could say they Tutankhamun."

"""This is your captain speaking"" ""AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING."""

"I'm extremely terrified that Donald Trump might run this country..... I completely mean that."

"What happened when the blue ship crashed into the red ship? The crews got marooned"

"Where is the lost city of Atlantis? Lantis. I can't believe nobody has thought to look there yet."

"what did the zero say to the eight? nice belt"

"What did the plate say to the other plate? ""dinner's on me"""

"Why was the cell phone wearing glasses? He had lost his contacts!"