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Joke of the Day
"Does anybody have any really old jokes that are actually funny? I'm talking antiques, 100 years +."
Next Joke
"how many How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? I'd tell you, but you probably wouldn't understand anyways."
"""to my son, i leave my bathroom scale"" the lawyer sighs ""because where theres a will, theres a weigh. to my wife, i leave my last high five"""
"You can remove a book's appendix without any problem. But spinal damage is usually fatal."
"You know why people insisted on calling the Higgs Boson for ""the God particle""? Because since the Higgs Boson gives mass to tiny particles, they imagined that it had to be a tiny priest."
"How do you know the bartender didn't appreciate your drunken pass at her She's stirring your bloody mary with a string."
"A young girl swallowed a pin when she was eleven and never felt a prick until she turned eighteen."
"Why are Italians so good at football? Because it involves changing sides halfway through."
"I saw an ad on craigslist for a mama sheep, a ram, and a cat fetus all for sale for only five dollars. I said to myself, ""Ewe goat to-be kitten!"""
"He paid me $150 for the ""girlfriend experience,"" so I went through his phone then locked myself in the bathroom, sobbing inconsolably."