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Joke of the Day

"[1 of 4 car accidents caused by texting & driving] PEOPLE: won't be me [1 in 292 million chance of winning powerball] PEOPLE: you never know"

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"What is the dankest kind of pizza? Pepe-roni"
"Which sea creature is the most determined? Any fish that is swimming near a dolphin, because then, it swims with a porpoise."
"Don't go to a fight with a gun or a knife, Bubblewrap yourself, People won't fight when there's bubblewrap"
"What do you call lonely cheese? Prov-alone"
"Why is it we trust politicians with creating jobs when they don't know a thing about working?"
"Katie Price's first task in Celebrity.... Katie Price's first task in Celebrity Big Brother is to not get pregnant or married in the next three weeks."
"It must be really hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest because I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet."
"Never tell a psycho that they're psycho, because then they feel like they're obligated to prove it."
"How do you make an egg roll? You push it"
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