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Joke of the Day

"How can we call ourselves ""evolved"" when signs are needed to remind people to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom?"

"The first time a woman swallowed my stuff, I was so appreciative that I swallowed her bullshi t for the next two years."

"Yoda: A Jedi, you will not be. Train Chewbacca, I will. Luke: But why? Yoda: Better piggyback rides, he gives."

"45 min phone call w/8yo nephew: Aunt Cassy, there are 206 bones in the human body!Want me to name them?1.Cranium 2.Mandible 3.Scapula..."

"What do you call 4 condoms? For me, a year's supply."

"A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. Still unsure as to whether or not that full stop adds to humorous effect."

"I used to think I was schizophrenic. But then the voices in my head said I was fine."

"I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt."

"My wife was harassing me to do some work around the house. I said, ""If I wanted a nag, I would have married a horse."""

"Why did the lion get lost? Cos jungle is massive."