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Joke of the Day

"How many times do I have to say ""excuse me"" before ""get the f*ck out of my way"" becomes acceptable?"

"I just heard Bill is interested in Hillary again... She's barely legal..."

"How many non-sequiturs does it take to change a light bulb? Yes"

"My Wife was dead and rotting for a week... ..and i thought she was just having her periods."

"My favourite part about amazingly hot, energetic, passionate sex. Is being able to rewind the tape & watch it again."

"What do men and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up."

"I Got Ebola :D Ebola icecream!"

"i feel wrong i think im having a dyslexic stroke. i cant smell anything on the left side of my body and i feel toast."

"What do you call it when everyone is behaving on a cruise ship? Cruise control. LOL fuck everyone hahahaha 666SATAN666"

"Butterflies have 1,200 eyes. That means they spend 7 months taking out their contacts every night."