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Joke of the Day

"I just heard Bill is interested in Hillary again... She's barely legal..."

"What do you call a woman who can balance 5 pints of lager on each arm? Beatrix"

"I hope my teeth enjoy these 3 minutes of minty freshness before their 8-hour coffee bath."

"What did the left pussy lip say to the right pussy lip? Girl, we used to be so tight until we let some dick come between us."

"I asked an extremely fit girl if I could see her snatch... So she loaded up the bar and asked, ""How many?"""

"DATE: You hear that an ostrich escaped from the zoo? ME: [from the kitchen] No DATE: Oh. What's for dinner? ME: A suspiciously large chicken"

"I'm really good at managing my credit card. My bank keeps sending me letters saying my account is outstanding."

"Doctor: It's been weeks since we restored your vision. Thoughts? ""I can't believe that British guy from the Geico commercials is a lizard."""

"Most disgraceful joke I want to hear jokes that make your stomach churn, cringe, the most racist/sexist joke, jokes about absolutely everything and anything. I want them bad"

"A Dream Job I was interviewed today by a Far East Sultan to be a eunuch to guard his harem of 365 women. What an ideal career!! Sadly, the Sultan told me I wasn't cut out for the job."