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Joke of the Day

"My 8 yr old son asked me earlier what the first two letters of 'fun' are. I laughed, we fist bumped, and then I sent him to the corner.."

"A family walks into a hotel... The father goes to the front desk and says ""I hope the porn is disabled."" The guy at the desk replies ""It's just regular porn you sick fuck!"""

"A few years back I used to write jokes. I spent ages trying to make a boxing joke. I just couldn't come up with a punch line"

"Dear Grocery store clerk, What part of me searching madly and paying in nickels & dimes suggests I can donate a dollar to the food bank?"

"I learned two things in prison. Don't sweat the petty, and don't pet the sweaty!"

"I don't usually spank the kids while we're in Walmart but yours were just asking for it."

"What do you get if you cross an illiterate african american with an illegal hispanic immigrant looking for a green card? A U.S soldier."

"Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower leave Moscow? He got snowed in."

"Mad cow disease wears off and eventually you're just tired with a cow disease."

"What goes clip clop clip clop BANG clip clop clip clop? An Amish drive by shooting."