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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower leave Moscow? He got snowed in."

"Is old rope good enough for a hanging? Frayed knot. That stuff is bad noose."

"I met a girl who said she liked Imagine Dragons. I asked her if she could Imagine Dragon these nuts across her chin."

"A liberal arts student walks into a bar. (Insert pronoun here) can't buy anything."

"Soooo.... I was fucking this guy in the ass and I went for a reach around and the faggot had a boner"

"There is no Control (Ctrl) button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control."

"What is the premier dish in Israeli-Japanese cuisine? Jewshi"

"What do white supremacists send their toddlers to before kindergarten? Pre-KKK"

"My penis is like the U.S. presidency Long and white, with a little bit of black on the tip."

"Two guys are watching a dog lick its privates. One guy chuckles and says, ""I wish I could do that."" The other guy says, ""Pet him, maybe he'll let you."" An oldie, but I always liked it."