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Joke of the Day

"Watching the olympics women beach volleyball first round... There's already been a wrist injury, but I should be ok by tomorrow."

"What did the hungry whale do? He bit the tail off a submarine and sucked out all the seamen."

"People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that."

"I think I'll vote the NSA for president... ...because at least they'll listen to the voters even after the election."

"I know how to feed a nation...but will she eat it?"

"Yo Mama so fat Her waistband is the reason Pi is an infinite number."

"I'm gonna start using my cat's ages like y'all do your kids. 5 just projectile vomited and 1 is trying to eat it off the floor."

"What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises."

"Why did the geologist's wife leave him? He took her for granite."

"another candidate got the job i applyed for at Senate Office whomever you are, i hope your happy with that analist position you stole from me."