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Joke of the Day
"What did Mr. Freeze do with his wife on their first date? Netflix and chill."
Next Joke
"What is a great way to baby-proof a house? Condoms"
"Once you... Once you go black, you're a single mother."
"Know why New Yorkers are so cynical? For them, the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey."
"(bed bath and beyond) *walks to beds* Wow nice beds *walks to baths* Wow nice baths *walks through intergalactic wormhole* Wow nice beyond"
"How did Hitler become a hero? He killed Hitler."
"WHAT DO WE WANT? If you have to ask, we're not telling you! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? We don't know! -Women's protest rally."
"My New Year's resolution is to cut back on my drinking... One fifth a day, max."
"I told a newcomer in prison that the other inmates were heavily interested in astronomy. When asked what I meant, I said, ""They are particularly interested in Uranus, so you don't want to moon them."""
"Confucius say... Baseball is wrong! Man with four balls cannot walk!"