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Joke of the Day
"Al Gore solves the world's problems by singing and dancing. He has an algorithm."
Next Joke
"Pinocchio boarded a bus in Rome. The bus was full of priests, except for one seat. Pinocchio took the seat and said"" Thank god I'm not a real boy!!"""
"*in the corridor of the club waiting for my transitions lenses to turn back into glasses* i'll see you ladies inside"
"I have a friend who got severe burns on his hands, to the point that he is virtually senseless. I feel for him."
"I'm concentrating so hard on trying not to eat a third cupcake that I literally can't do my job"
"Forgot that I made a cup of coffee... now mass immigration has caused it to go cold."
"btw, my linkedin endorsements for ""Dreamweaver"" are for me singing the song Dreamweaver and not for using that software"
"What does Eckhart Tolle get for Christmas? Presence"
"A chemist walks into a bar... Chemist: Do you have any Sodium Hypobromite? Bartender: NaBrO"
"[during a huddle in a crucial ice hockey match] ME: Ok listen up guys [all the other players look at me] ME: Is....is anyone else cold?"