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Joke of the Day

"A blind man walks into a bar... then a table, then finally a chair."

"Sometimes I get really stoned and stare at phone and wonder why I pay so much money for a government tracking device."

"Broccoli is like anal sex. If you didn't like it forced on you as a child you probably won't like it as an adult."

"Why is 'secret' such a popular password on Brazzers? You can type it with one hand."

"What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto!"

"My girlfriend wanted me to go to yoga with her the other day. I waved her off and said ""Nah 'ma stay."""

"Why was six afraid of seven... ...because seven was a registered six offender."

"I bought a new book today called X-ray vision for beginners.' I'm having a look through it now."

"What's long, hard, and full of seamen? A submarine."

"I got into a fight against three people earlier and managed to knock one out... In hindsight, it probably wasn't the best time to masturbate."