111215

Joke of the Day

"Wait, what's that noise? Is there a dying cat outside? Oh...no...it's just a 50 yr old man racing a remote control car down the road."

"An auk breathes from his ass One day he sits down and dies."

"I quit my job as a prostitute because nobody gave a fuck."

"How does one make a Nazi? With a ropesy."

"Why are bats blind? Well your eyesight wouldn't be too good if you hung upside down all day would it?"

"According to my cousin's diploma, he graduated from an ""Institute of Fine Farts"" because I just made an adjustment to it with a sharpie."

"Adulting so well today. Managed to make the bed while i was still in it. Now to figure out how to get out, without messing it up."

"I tried to be polite and hold the door open for a woman, but she kept screaming, ""I'm peeing in here!"""

"I have an ear infection. It's called hearing AIDs."

"Why does Hillary Clinton want to have sex with Bill Clinton first thing in the morning? She wants to be the first lady."