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Joke of the Day

"I tried to be polite and hold the door open for a woman, but she kept screaming, ""I'm peeing in here!"""

"So a neutron walks into a bar... ...he goes up to the bartender and asks how much a drink is. The bartender replies saying: ""For you? No charge."""

"A Tumblr user walks into a DIY store..... A Tumblr user walks into a DIY store and steals one item. He take a fence"

"Linda from the office calls it a shawl but I know a shitty cape when I see one."

"*gets down to snails level* IF YOU JUST TELL ME WHERE YOU'RE TRYING TO GET TO THEN I CAN HELP YOU GET THERE FASTER."

"Life is like toilet paper you're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole."

"If you're Russian when you're running to the bathroom, and Finnish when you're leaving, what are you in between? European!"

"What's better than four roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ"

"Why we don't give food to cannibals.. ..because they know how to feed for themselves."

"If my inlaws break a bylaw, does it make them outlaws? Would any lawyer be in a preposition to answer this one for me?"