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Joke of the Day

"INTERVIEWER: What are your strengths? APPLICANT: I'm a detail-oriented team player [nothing wacky happens because this is a job interview]"

"What do you call a gay drive by? A Fruit roll up"

"Why did the monkey paint his balls red? So he could hide in the cherry tree... What's the most load noise in the jungle? ... A giraffe eating cherries!"

"If I could go back in time and talk to my ten year old self My parents probably would've put a restraining order on me."

"Vikings kicker Blair Walsh apparently attempted suicide last night. He ended up being just fine, he was unable to kick the chair out from under him."

"I'm in a long distance relationship. My girlfriend is in the future."

"The punchline was in the title Why did all the redditors downvote the joke?"

"Wanna hear a joke about ebola? Nevermind, you won't get it."

"What does spinach and butt sex have in common? When they are forced on you as a child you resent them as an adult"

"BY COINCIDENCE By coincidence, the mom from Toy Story had adult toys named Woody and Buzz Lightyear"