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Joke of the Day

"Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid? A: When the other tenors notice."

"Lance Armstrong...Optimist or Pessimist? So, Lance, do you see the scrotum as half-full, or do you see the scrotum as half-empty?"

"The best thing about owning a Smart Car is when it gets dirty, you can just put it in the dishwasher."

"Why does James Bond keep telling people his real name? Worst. Spy. Ever."

"God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth. Then God made the earth round.....and he laughed and laughed and laughed."

"How do you spot Will Smith in a snowstorm? You look for the fresh prints."

"I'm writing a book called ""Stop Overreacting"". If you guys don't buy it I'm going to kill myself."

"Four years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Today, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"The Chicken or The Egg A chicken and an egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette. The egg rolls over in satisfaction and says, ""Well, I guess we answered that question."""

"What did the boy scout do that the jewish boy couldn't Come home from camp"