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Joke of the Day

"Lance Armstrong...Optimist or Pessimist? So, Lance, do you see the scrotum as half-full, or do you see the scrotum as half-empty?"

"I never wanted to believe that my father was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"Whats the similarities between black people and bikes? Both cant work without chains."

"Abraham: look here son, i got windows 98! Isaac: but dad, we don't have enough memory? Abraham:Have faith, God will provide the RAM."

"What is an Eskimos best friend? pol ice"

"I have all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4:00 p.m. today."

"There are two types of people in this world... Those that can recognise when data is missing..."

"Why did Adolf Hitler hate math class? He didn't like showing his work; was only interested in the final solution."

"What are those small bumps around women's nipples? It's Braille for ""Suck Here"""

"I just realized the straps on the side of the mattress are for moving the mattress, and not for what I've been using them for all this time."