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Joke of the Day

"ME: This house is haunted WIFE [sigh] We've been thru this, that's our son SON: I just have a pale complexion Dad ME: TELL ME YOU HEARD THAT"

"Jesus wouldn't have been good at Twitter He would've only had twelve followers."

"What did the slug say to the police? ""I was as""salt""ed"""

"We should have known communism would fail In hindsight there were a lot of red flags"

"What do you call a Jewish rapper? A rappi."

"Just started coaching some retarded children in football The passing isn't very good yet, but the dribbling is fantastic."

"What do you call a moose with no name? Anonymoose"

"I don't know why people get so upset about the death penalty It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, after all."

"What do vampire footballers have at half-time? Blood oranges."

"Why does it take more than a million sperms to fertilize one egg? 1) Female Ego... Rejection without Reason! 2) Male Ego... Won't Ask For Directions!"