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Joke of the Day

"Went in for a prostate exam... I asked the doctor where I should put my pants. ""Right over there with mine""..."

"Cute things to call your girlfriend/boyfriend 1. Sugar 2. Honey 3. Flour 4. Egg 5. 1/2 lb butter 6. Stir 7. Pour into pan 8. Preheat to 350"

"I like my coffee like I like my women... I've heard multiple versions of this joke. Please comment with you're favorite."

"I loved Prince, and in my opinion, Michael Jackson was pale in comparison."

"Why don't German pessimists eat pork.... They always fear the wurst."

"Me: *passes ransom note* Mom: 2 bags of unmarked cookies? Me: Or you'll never see the cat alive! Mom: He's behind you. Me: STUPID KITTY!"

"I tried suing Amtrak for misplacing my luggage. I lost my case."

"Hey can I call you back in like 6 weeks?"

"What would a midget be jealous of at a little kid? The kid is over 5 feet tall."

"he died doing what he loved: trying to put socks on with wet feet while standing next to a cliff"