110098

Joke of the Day

"what do you call a mexican who lost his car? carlos"

"I'm no mathlete, but I CAN tell you that a 6 y/o running at 8 mph chasing an ice cream truck moving at 10 mph flies 7.4 ft if you trip him."

"What's the difference between ten dead hookers and the stuff in my basement? Nothing."

"Did you hear about the vulture that became a priest? He's a bird of pray."

"SNL contacted me about being a writer, and I was like ""Pfft. I got my own gig"" and they were like ""BEEP BEEP BEEP"" because my alarm went off"

"Ever since my son got his first girlfriend, I've been changing the bed sheets much more often. Whenever I imagine him knocking her up, I shit myself."

"I like two kinds of men: domestic and imported."

"How can you tell when the Chief Accountant is getting soft? When he actually listens to Marketing before saying No"

"What do you call it when you hire your relatives to play with your nipples? Nippletism"

"Why was little Jimmy fishing in the well? Because Tom had previously drowned in the well and everyone said ""Tom is sleeping with the fishes."""