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Joke of the Day

"I'm no mathlete, but I CAN tell you that a 6 y/o running at 8 mph chasing an ice cream truck moving at 10 mph flies 7.4 ft if you trip him."

"Facebook needs a ""settle down"" button you tap on a friend's profile, that locks them out for a day so they can work through stuff privately."

"Lawyer Joke Thread Submit your favorite lawyer jokes!"

"Boss: What's your five-year goal? Me: Paid administrative leave."

"I looked into my partner's eyes and said to the priest, ""I do."" If nobody else was going to object to the marriage, then I guess I had to."

"I keep trying to think of a bone joke But none of them are humerous"

"So I go to the shops to get some food... This motherfucker behind the counter takes my money. That's thievery."

"My mom pops out from under the table while I'm on a date. She's always been a good eater. You see her hips? Good hips. Stand up, show him-"

"There were two peanuts walking down the street... ...and one was assaulted peanut."

"What do you do when your dishwasher breaks? Remarry"