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Joke of the Day
"Why did the restaurant fire the pansexual? Because he kept fucking the cookware."
Next Joke
"So, a happy Muslim on an empty stomach enters a gay bar............. Bartender asks, ""What will it be!?"" The Muslim replies, ""Shots for everyone!"""
"[Doctor's Office] Sir, it appears you have takes-everything-literally disease. ""Is it bad, doc?"" Yes, but bear in mind- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"For the past couple of years, I have been saying that the only holidays worth celebrating are the equinoxes and the solstices. I find all of the others to be astronomically unimportant."
"There are two types of people in this world: Those who need closure..."
"What do you call an Italian suppository? Innuendo."
"A ship carrying blue paint has collided with a ship carrying red paint in the English Channel. 32 sailors have been marooned"
"you may have noticed my signature fedora, my signature has a little fedora drawn on it to look like it is wearing one"
"What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand? Quatro sinko."
"My ultra-cheesy pick up line, based on old Pepe Le Pew cartoons Le meooooww.... Le Purrrrrrrr... Le me?"