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Joke of the Day

"you may have noticed my signature fedora, my signature has a little fedora drawn on it to look like it is wearing one"

"Apple CEO Tim Cook has come out as gay. This totally explains why the new iPhone charger holes became tighter after Steve Jobs died."

"Gravity makes a terrible friend. It's always holding you down."

"Someone at my work stole my microsoft office bundle. I'm going to hunt him down and take it back. You have my word!"

"Yo mamma's so fat when she went on vacation, the locals correctly identified her as an American"

"Why didn't they just call the Selfie Stick a NarcissiStick?"

"[at restaurant on 1st date pretending not to be an eel] Date: The wine is lovely great choice Me: *helplessly slips off chair*"

"A skeleton walks into a bar ... ... he says "" Gimme a Beer ... and a Mop !"

"God said to Jon ""Come forth, and recieve eternal life."" But Jon came fifth, and won a toaster."

"Eight mexicans drowned in the lake over the weekend. The newspaper headline was ""Ocho Sinko"""