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Joke of the Day

"[Doctor's Office] Sir, it appears you have takes-everything-literally disease. ""Is it bad, doc?"" Yes, but bear in mind- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"What's that thing called when your crush likes you back? oh yeah imagination"

"I'm scared of the toilet That's where shit goes down"

"What is a good opening bridge bid for the Presidential Election? One no-Trump. Literally a Dad joke. From my literal Dad."

"Top uses for Golf Balls: 1. Describing hail storms 2. Describing tumors 3. Playing golf"

"What do you call a white guy who grew up in the ghetto? Tarzan."

"A scuba diver brings a wetsuit to a dry cleaner..."

"What's the difference between an Irishman and a bottle of whiskey? The whiskey usually doesn't get drunk until it's at least ten years old."

"If a man uses pickup lines on a girl... Would you call it Clitbait?"

"Insanity [insanity] (noun): Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results See Also: Going back to your ex"