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Joke of the Day

"After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. Usually at family gatherings where she threatens me if I don't look happy."

"Fred: Did you hear about the Irish window cleaner who put a sign at the top of his ladder? Harry: What did the sign say? Fred: Stop."

"My son was four when he came up with this: Knock Knock Who's there? Hulk. Hulk w.../HULK SMASH!!"

"Bioluminescent fry said to have a bright future"

"Good friends are just like snowballs. They go away if you pee on them."

"#TT At 14 I yelled, ""You'll NEVER understand Morrissey,dad!!"" and tried to run dramatically out of the room but ran into a wall & fell over."

"Mom always said she didn't have a favorite child, which was tough because I don't have any brothers or sisters."

"Our guide called the bear tracks I found bike tracks. Laugh it up pal, but if these bears are on bikes we're all going to die out here."

"[overhears girl at work crying because her grandad & her dad died this month] Me: not all men are like that"

"what did the leper say to the hooker Keep the tip."