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Joke of the Day

"The way I see it, the only thing my daughter's little ""boyfriend"" needs to know about me is I ain't afraid to go back to prison."

"What are children generally better at then adults? Giving the pope an errection"

"saw your mum at the supermarket buying vaseline & cucumbers & nothing else, no wonder your dad died if that what she puts in sandwiches"

"What did one French Guy say to another French Guy? ""Bonjour, je m'apelle Guy aussi!"" (""Hello, I am called Guy as well!"")"

"Q. What's a man's idea of honestly in a relationship? A. Telling you his real name."

"The ATM told me, ""Not enough funds in account,"" when I tried to withdraw. This ATM needs a bigger account."

"Liz from HR just called me in. I guess my thigh gap is distracting everyone, like that's my fault"

"If only plastic surgeons also sold class."

"My roommate is really dedicated to dental hygiene just last night I heard her using an electric toothbrush for what seemed like an hour"

"If someone you know is stressed out, be sure to tell them they need to relax. You'd be surprised how many people hadn't thought of that."