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Joke of the Day

"The way I see it, the only thing my daughter's little ""boyfriend"" needs to know about me is I ain't afraid to go back to prison."

"What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons? Jose and Hose B"

"I remember when peer pressure was all about drugs and promiscuous sex. Now it's Fitbit and who has the best gluten free recipes."

"Shock me, say something intelligent."

"Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively."

"What is it with people who text and drive? I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them."

"Why did the students need a ladder to get into school? It was a high school."

"Kryptonite They call my dick Kryptonite, Because not even Superman can handle it. Boom!"

"Congratulations on being the kind of person who corrects the grammar of others, unsolicited. You're the Microsoft Word Paperclip."

"I Got Ebola :D Ebola icecream!"