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Joke of the Day

"What do Jewish people drink after they spray tan? Orange Jews."

"I need to do just one more beheading & this will be the best New Year's revolution, ever!"

"Now that robots move their limbs smoothly and with grace, i wonder how we're supposed to imitate them on the dance floor?"

"My friend said he'll shave his hair for the first time in forever... I told him it was a....*bold* move."

"Whoever said that collectively women are the fair sex obviously didn't understand the meaning of fair, or women, or maybe even sex..."

"I'm glad the Chicago Cubs finally won the World Series. 108 years of hibernation just doesn't seem healthy."

"An elderly woman went to her local doctor's office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied..."

"Did you hear about the Brooklyn bubblebrain who was two hours late for work because the escalator got stuck?"

"If you need someone who is good at looking into a full fridge and complaining that there's nothing to eat, I'm your Mayor!"

"Why did the girl who worked for the telephone company sing all the time? Because she was an operetta (operator)."