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Joke of the Day
"Why did the local university invite a foreign chemist? Florine talent."
Next Joke
"[doctors exam] ""I'm feeling a lump here. Here's another. You have several lumps."" -uh oh, what does that mean doc? ""it means you're fat"""
"What breed of dog loves to take a bath? A shampoodle"
"Sometimes to take a break from frightening election news, I watch something far less horrifying like 'The Shining' or 'Silence of the Lambs'"
"What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Lean Beef"
"wherever this dart lands is where I'll take a trip to *throws dart and it lands on Hogwarts poster* oh, well this is going to be difficult"
"FACT: Carrots may be good for your eyes but alcohol will double your vision."
"Doesn't get paid: has popcorn and vodka martinis for dinner. Gets paid: has popcorn and raspberry vodka martinis for dinner."
"Friday night plans *break into plastic surgeon's office *put goldfish in the silicone implants *sneak away undetected *giggle like a maniac"
"How You Can Draw a Muhammad Every Day Wipe!"